Doggy updates

We brought Ferris to the vet again last night for his remaining vaccinations. Aside from the fact that he stomped on the vet's face when the poor doc got on the floor to examine his belly, Ferris was well behaved. He appears to be doing well. It's amazing how the absence of worrisome test results can make a dog seem instantly healthier.


As for Kody, he's doing well, too. He had a thorough teeth cleaning from a conscientious (or thirsty) Yorkie at the dog park.

Speaking of dog parks, Kody and Red aptly demonstrated one of the most common hazards one encounters while at off-leash parks.

And Red, well, he has certainly come out of his shell. Unfortunately, however, as is typical with shelter dogs, he has severe separation anxiety and has been destroying both the house and himself while Rose and Jeff are at work. They are doing all the right exercises and Jeff has temporarily changed his work schedule to permit him to come home at lunchtime, but any and all suggestions would be appreciated.

Got gas?

Having two weeks off allowed me to force my driving instructor to schedule two lessons within two days -- no three-week gap this time, no sirree. I had a lesson yesterday and another one today. Lo and behold, my driving did not completely stink today! (We won't speak of yesterday.) The first thing I noticed when I started the car was that the low-gas indicator was blinking.

"Lino, you're almost out of gas," I said helpfully.

"That's why we're going to a gas station," he replied. I successfully guided the car to the nearest gas station and proudly pulled up next to a pump without hitting so much as a curb. I put the car in park, engaged the parking brake, and turned off the ignition.

"Out you go!" I said cheerfully.

"And out you go," Lino replied. I protested at length, explaining how the smell of gasoline makes me nauseous and relating the tale of an uncle of mine who puked all over himself after spilling gasoline on his clothes. I knew Lino wouldn't give in, so while I was complaining I climbed out of the car, wrestled the gas cap off and shoved the pump in place. Lino waited patiently until my griping was over, then selected his gas type and watched with amusement as I choked the pump repeatedly.

When I finally managed to get the fuel flowing, Lino instructed, "Stop at exactly $20.00." I rolled my eyes and said, "Oh, we're going to play that game, are we?" but secretly it made me feel, for the very first time, like a real driver. The result? $20.02. Not too shabby for a first-timer.

Introducing Alexa Vivian

All together now: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Ava Elizabeth is being the perfect big sister, helpful and enthusiastic. Mom and Dad are as pleased as punch. For that matter, so is honorary Aunt Jenni. Curse this cold, though; I'm not yet well enough to visit!

Speaking of the Humane Society...

...look who followed our friends Rose and Jeff home from the shelter over the weekend. Welcome, Red! He's so cute, and so far he's the sleepiest little dog I've ever met.

Cover shot

Recognize that goofy face? That's Ferris on the cover of the Toronto Humane Society's 2007 fundraising calendar. Awwwwwwwwwwww.

Call me evil...

...but every year I get a kick out of the "10 Worst Toys" list from World Against Toys Causing Harm. These are a few of my favourites:

• Classic Horror Psycho Saw
• Sesame Street's Check-up Ernie
• Jungle Gym Jump-O-Lene
• Mock Military Bazooka
• Camouflage Water Bomb Fun Kit
• M-60 Automatic Assault Lazer
• Star Wars - Revenge of the Sith Energy Beam Blaster
• The Lord Of The Rings - Return Of The King Uruk-Hai Crossbow Set Including Electronic Light 'n' Sound Sting Sword
• Air Kicks Kickaroos Anti-Gravity Boots

How do such things get past the drawing board? They're as bad as the phony products in that old Saturday Night Live Consumer Probe skit with Candice Bergen and Dan Aykroyd.

Parting gifts

September 22nd is my last day at my current job. My colleagues threw a farewell party for me today and presented me with this:

which was filled with this:

They know me so well.

Always diplomatic...

... my driving instructor, Lino, took a call on his cell phone during my lesson this evening. "Listen," he said to the caller, "can I call you back when I'm not with a student who's trying to kill me?"

How Scott thinks

I love the way Scott's mind works. He saw this:


and said, "That's the heaviest box of tissues I've ever seen."

Latest calamity

There's a reason my bathroom cabinet is stocked this way.

Warning: gory photos below

I was attempting to clean out the blades of my paper shredder with a pair of scissors this evening.

Apparently that was a dumb idea.

See that thing that looks like a lemon seed on the blade of the scissors?

That's part of my finger.


Yeah. Ouch.