With all the kind comments people have sent regarding the wedding photo I posted earlier, I was beginning to feel guilty for deceiving you all. As penance, I offer these less flattering images.
In this photo it looks like I'm wearing a bustle UNDER my dress. I used to think that my rear end exemplified what the kids nowadays call "junk in the trunk," but now that I have consulted the Urban Dictionary, I realize that in fact I have an "SUV in the pants."
With all of the trouble I had concerning the bodice, I never even noticed that my skirt didn't fit. The more I look at this photo, the more surprised I am that nobody tried to rest a wine glass on my behind during the reception.
The conversation just prior to the taking of the photo below went something like this:
Calamity Jen (to photographer): Aw come on, don't be taking photos of us while we eat. Please?
Photographer: Just pretend I'm not here.
Calamity Jen: That's a little difficult when you're only two feet away.
Photographer: Okay, okay. [Lowers camera]
Calamity Jen: Thanks, I appreciate that. After all, why would anyone want a photo of this? [Feigns eating like a pig]
Camera: Snap!
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6 comments:
you kill me!! I personally think the photo of your suv is not as bad as you think. (I have no comment on your eating habits...)
You are way to harsh on yourself! I think you're gorgeous.
:-)
I second that emotion! You look lovely.
That's the best laugh I've had all day!!!
I'm afraid I have a much "bigger" problem than yours!!!
How is Ferris and the problem pup???
Sorry I forget his name!
What the heck are you eating anyway?
R. Gazoogle
It was a Danish/Polish wedding, so I was probably eating a pickled-herring pierogi.
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