October 15, 2006

You asked for it.

With all the kind comments people have sent regarding the wedding photo I posted earlier, I was beginning to feel guilty for deceiving you all. As penance, I offer these less flattering images.

In this photo it looks like I'm wearing a bustle UNDER my dress. I used to think that my rear end exemplified what the kids nowadays call "junk in the trunk," but now that I have consulted the Urban Dictionary, I realize that in fact I have an "SUV in the pants."

With all of the trouble I had concerning the bodice, I never even noticed that my skirt didn't fit. The more I look at this photo, the more surprised I am that nobody tried to rest a wine glass on my behind during the reception.

The conversation just prior to the taking of the photo below went something like this:

Calamity Jen (to photographer): Aw come on, don't be taking photos of us while we eat. Please?

Photographer: Just pretend I'm not here.

Calamity Jen: That's a little difficult when you're only two feet away.

Photographer: Okay, okay. [Lowers camera]

Calamity Jen: Thanks, I appreciate that. After all, why would anyone want a photo of this? [Feigns eating like a pig]

Camera: Snap!

Not exactly the picture of beauty and grace


Orange Blossom Goddess (aka Heather) said...

you kill me!! I personally think the photo of your suv is not as bad as you think. (I have no comment on your eating habits...)

Eclectic Optimist said...

You are way to harsh on yourself! I think you're gorgeous.


Rob K said...

I second that emotion! You look lovely.

Anonymous said...

That's the best laugh I've had all day!!!

I'm afraid I have a much "bigger" problem than yours!!!

How is Ferris and the problem pup???
Sorry I forget his name!

blushone said...

Jen, you're absolutely crazy and beautiful... even in that crazy food eating photo of yours! =P


Anonymous said...

What the heck are you eating anyway?
R. Gazoogle

Calamity Jen said...

It was a Danish/Polish wedding, so I was probably eating a pickled-herring pierogi.