November 24, 2007

Embarrassing moments

I've been meaning to write a post about embarrassing moments. Time has been in short supply, however, and I'm just stealing a minute before running off to a party, so for now this will have to suffice. It is a photo taken at Scott's 35th birthday dinner. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

November 14, 2007

Calamity's first accident

Can I trust your driver not to hit me?

On Saturday, while driving Scott to his dentist appointment, I had my first accident as a (semi-)licensed driver. I was in a line of cars waiting at a red light when a Leon's delivery truck glided into my lane from behind and hit the back of our Element. Scott threw his door open and hollered, "HEY!" while I put the vehicle into park, flipped on the hazard lights and checked for moving traffic before getting out to inspect the damage.

I was pleased to discover that there was nary a scratch. Barely a smudge in the dirt on our bumper, really. I was so relieved -- both at the lack of carnage and the fact that I wasn't at fault -- that I patted the truck driver on the back and chirped, "No worries!" before hopping back into the driver's seat.

Scott was frazzled, as he always is when I am driving, but I continued merrily onward until we reached the dentist's office, where we were only five minutes late for a 12:30 appointment. Unfortunately, the dentist had no time for Scott that day, as the appointment was actually scheduled for noon. I had entered the wrong time in my PalmPilot. So much for my fault-free day.

November 09, 2007

Like a bowl full of jelly

I'm jiggly in all the wrong places. I'm a "Before" photograph with no "After." My weight is really getting out of hand. I kid you not when I tell you that I often sense that someone is following me, only to realize that it's my own rear end.

avatars free

It took years for me to learn to love -- or at least accept -- myself for who I am. But with the recent increase in the amount of me that there is to love, I have come to realize that my continued acceptance might just lead to a heart attack one of these days. I could become the next "Suicide by Fat -- Obesity Revealed" specimen in Dr. Gunther von Hagens' Body Worlds exhibit. That ain't a pretty thought.

November 01, 2007

Thirty seconds of giggling koala

This is sad but true: Scott and I purchased a giggling koala dog toy and let Ferris have it for about two seconds before deciding that it was too cute to sacrifice to the dogs. It now sits safely out of canine reach.