December 25, 2008

Nothing says "Merry Christmas, owners!"... the acrid smell of doggy diarrhea at 5:30 in the morning.

Pity me.

While many people were woken up in the wee hours of this Christmas morning by the squeals of excited children, Scott and I were stirred to consciousness by the smell of... you guessed it, dog poop. Montana had dutifully slept next to our bed throughout the night, but Ferris must have been pacing by the back door hoping some magical elf would let him outside. No such luck. I wandered downstairs in barely more than my skivvies and immediately armed myself with paper towels, plastic bags and disinfectant wipes. One look at the two mats at the back door and I was convinced that they were goners. They are great mats for the dogs to dry off on after playing in the back yard; they have firm, deep pile in a pattern like tire treads. Perfect for trapping snow and ice from wet paws. Also perfect for trapping runny stools.

Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil, smell no evil.

I did my best to clean up the mess before hurling the two mats outside onto the deck. Perhaps the snow or rain would cleanse them. It has never worked before, but I was far too tired to think of a more intelligent course of action. Not Scott, though. Declaring, "We've thrown out enough mats!" he got dressed, went outside, sandwiched the soiled mats together and headed off to the coin-operated car wash. In the meantime, I let Ferris outside to do whatever business he had left. When I let him back in fifteen minutes later, he vomited all over the freshly scrubbed floor. I'm not making any accusations here, but the puke smelled an awful lot like crap.

So I cleaned the floor again, consoled a very unhappy-looking Ferris and headed off to bed in the hopes of catching a few more winks. I could be forgiven for thinking it was Groundhog Day rather than Christmas when I awoke to the very same disgusting smell a few hours later. Let's just hope this isn't the beginning of a new Christmas tradition.

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it, and the best of the season to those who don't. Happy new year to all!

December 12, 2008

Dough for dough

It is my Christmas tradition to bake cookies which I then give to folks like my doctor, dentist, letter carrier, neighbours, etc. Since regular readers know that I'm not particularly skilled in the culinary arts, it will be no surprise to learn that I make my cookies from prepared dough. In the spirit of giving to the community as well as to friends and acquaintances, I like to purchase my cookie dough through organizations that sell it as a fundraiser. Sure, it would be cheaper to buy the dough directly from the company that makes it, but where's the holiday spirit in that?

I used to call the dough company each year and ask them what charitable organizations in my area were selling their products. I was able to support a day care centre and some youth activity groups. How nice. A few years ago my mother informed me that one of her colleagues was selling the dough to raise funds for her choir. Without thinking, I went ahead and placed an order. I have been ordering dough from the same woman for the past three or four years, and it only struck me this year that her particular cause is a bit off the mark for me. It's wonderful that her choir is keeping well-to-do middle-aged women busy, otherwise they might be out hosting tea parties and getting manicures, but that isn't the demographic I had in mind when I decided to pay a premium for cookie dough.

Never mind. Today was my baking day. Somehow I managed to screw up a two-step process. Roll and bake. That's it. Roll and bake. Once again my mind inserted "drop onto floor" into the instructions. This time I didn't bother to photograph the fur-covered dough blobs. I did, however, take the time to photograph my favourite batch of completed non-floor cookies:

Cookies only Salvador DalĂ­ could love

December 06, 2008

"Prop 8 - The Musical"

I have to give credit to my very vocal adversary from this post, as he was brave enough to send me a link to the movie below.

I love shrimp cocktail.