February 28, 2008
February 22, 2008
February 18, 2008
In other news... Here are the latest and greatest Sitemeter search stats for my blog.
Someone in Bletchley, Essex, UK, found my blog by Googling "pugs are hideous," while another UK resident found it by Googling "pet spider poems." You know, when I was a kid I adopted a spider. It lived in the back yard on my mother's clothesline pulley. Every day when I went outside to feed our pet rabbit I would shake earwigs out from a crevice in the rabbit hutch. I would catch them in an old tennis ball canister and shake them silly so that they would be dizzy when I tossed them into the -- hold on, I think this is falling into the category of "things you really ought not reveal about your childhood." Never mind, then.
A fellow Torontonian arrived at my site by entering the search words "bodypaint by jen calendar 2006," while another local found it by Googling "lmao." Trust me, no one would be laughing if they had the misfortune to view me in nothing but bodypaint. I would probably get sued for causing severe emotional trauma.
An individual from Reynoldsburg, Ohio, was probably disappointed with the fish bathroom pics that resulted from their pursuit of "panda theme room" photos. (Were they seeking ideas for a panda-themed room, or for a theme room for pandas?)
I'm very curious to know why somebody in the Salem-Keizer Public School system in Gervais, Oregon, was searching for information on "shroom babies." Perhaps FASD wasn't enough to explain the behaviour of some of the students?
My condolences to the person from Kelso, Missouri, who was on a quest for "free cat poems for funerals." Did the local cat lady pass away? And did you really need to include the word "free"? Surely no one would actually charge for a funereal cat poem.
Lastly, I really feel for the person from Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania, who Googled, "can you die from a broken toe." Scott nearly murdered Ferris after finding out how much his broken toe cost.
February 16, 2008
February 15, 2008
I returned to bed but awoke a few hours later to the very same stink. Once again, Ferris greeted me with his full-body wag. It was as if he was awaiting praise for his latest display, which resembled a giant Spin-Art creation gone very, very wrong.
Scott brought Ferris outside, where he repeated his spinning poop routine. I was still scrubbing the floor when they came back in. And silly me, I thought it would be safe to go back to bed for a little while. Before long, I awoke for a third time to olfactory overload. A new roll of paper towel, a new container of Lysol wipes, and another trip to the back yard where Ferris could yet again recreate his artwork. The vet instructed me to stop giving Ferris the painkillers and she offered to dispense a medication to stop the diarrhea. I said thanks but no thanks. With my luck, the anti-diarrheal would cause Ferris to, I don't know, bleed from the ears, for which another medication would be required. If I weren't broke from the vet bills, I would be buying stocks in veterinary pharmaceutical companies.
February 14, 2008
February 12, 2008
In addition to keeping Ferris' splint dry, we are also supposed to ensure that Ferris remains as calm and still as possible. "Easier said than done" doesn't cover it. This is Ferris we're talking about.
And what about Montana? How are we to stop him from wrestling with Ferris?
Did I mention that I cancelled my pet insurance?
February 11, 2008
February 05, 2008
February 04, 2008