August 27, 2008

Don't go yet, chlorophyll!

It's too early for fall colours.

I don't like weddings. I never have and I likely never will. I'm not even keen on attending my own, and I'm the one planning it. They're usually frilly and frou-frou and steeped in outdated symbolism.

That being said, even though I've been coerced into having a relatively traditional ceremony and reception to launch my marriage, I've been able to detect in myself a smidgen of enthusiasm about the setting. If the weather is kind to us we will be wed in a forest in autumn. I love autumn. I envision being surrounded by trees that are cloaked in russet and gold and crimson, the bottom of my dress rustling through a scattering of brilliant fallen leaves as I walk up the path toward my soon-to-be betrothed.

I do not want to envision myself slipping on slimy, decomposing foliage against a backdrop of naked, spindly trees. Yesterday, however, I saw some leaves turning red, and the meteorologist on the local news remarked that the colours are already changing just north of the city. Crap. I'm getting married just north of the city, but not for another two months. By then the trees could be bare, the skies could be drab, the air could be damp and cold. There is a literary term for the weather reflecting the mood, but the only terms I can come up with at the moment are "pathetic fallacy" (close) and "manifest destiny" (not even in the ballpark, and not even a literary term). If it is too chilly or there is -- egads! -- rain, we will have to hold the ceremony in a cramped and lacklustre covered patio with uneven interlocking stone floors. The literary term for that is "sucks the big one."

I have been accused of being awfully pessimistic by some people (namely Scott, who ironically is the winner of the Crankiest, Most Negative Person Contest, an imaginary contest that I just made up). I wouldn't call myself pessimistic, but realistic. Have you ever known fall colours to last for two months? They barely last two weeks. And we all know what happens next. The leaves turn a dull brown and fall off the trees, the air becomes bone-chillingly damp, the skies open up into five solid months of rain and snow, and everyone north of the Tropic of Cancer sinks into a deep and unrelenting depression. Pessimistic my foot.

Did I mention that I don't like weddings?


Jennifer said...

I think we're going to have an extended fall this year because of all the rain we've had all summer. The leaves are only starting to turn because of the chilly nights, but the days are still warm so they'll stick around for your wedding.
But hey, what do I know? I thought it would be snowing on my wedding day and it was a balmy 21 degrees in mid-December that year :)

Calamity Jen said...

Can I give you a hug?

amelia said...

Anything can happen but if you're staying fairly close to Toronto you should be OK.
Up here our leaves are turning and it's usually over by late October but I'm always amazed, if I visit my kids in Toronto, just how many leaves are on the trees!!!

PS. Have a back up plan just in case!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for making my day. Your comments have inspired me to alter (no pun intended) my remarks which I had prepared for your reception. Hee hee.
My love to you and contest winner CMNP Scott.
P.S. Don't worry, be happy.
P.P.S. Que Sera Sera
P.P.P.S. Your friends and family will gather to celebrate you and Scott and won't care about the weather or anything else.

HAR said...

I'm with your dad. You won't even notice. It's all about the love.

I love the fall too. My wedding , planned over ten years ago but never materialized, was supposed to be on October 13th. Fall is beautiful not just because of the leaves but because of the fresh air. Cool, crisp but not too cold. It will be perfect.

HAR said...

Unless it rains. ;)


I kid, I kid!

Calamity Jen said...

amelia -- thanks!

Dad -- please tell me you haven't added the phrase "sucks the big one" to your remarks.

har - Why I oughta... actually, that was funny.

Rob K said...

Jen, you two make such a lovely couple that you're going to outshine whatever Mother Nature has planned for that special day.

And, btw, I resent you crowning Scott the winner of Crankiest, Most Negative Person Contest.

I'll have you know that I am the crankiest, most negative person in North America and I will not relinquish my title to anyone.

Whoever doubts that can meet me at the crack of dawn for a crank-off at 30 paces.

Anonymous said...

Lovely sweetie pie Jenni...the very fact that Scott finally got his A into G (yay Scott) and realised that life without you as his forever bride is completely worthless, completely overshadows (literally) all other elements that may/may not/could/could not/who cares appear on the day.

In 10 years you will only remember that your Dad made the best speech ever, that Scott looked as gorgeous as always, that you actually enjoyed it a lot more than you thought you would, you really are THE Dancing Queen (and not John) and that you really DID have a headache on your wedding night!

You wouldn't earn that nickname if it was a boring wedding now would you? ;)

Cheryl (Stupidly optimistic enough for all)

ryssee said...

You've got some lovely comments above! All I have to say is no matter what the weather on your wedding day is like it's sure to be a beautiful day anyway. (Two months away? Wow!)

Heather said...

Heather (aka helping with decorations) here and I say if the leaves have fallen then I will glue them back up. If it is raining then I will wear a bright yellow rain slicker and hat and possibly green hip waders and you will laugh and my work here will have been completed. xo

Calamity Jen said...

I have such fantabulous friends!

Tea and Margaritas in My Garden said...

I know! I also love the fall, but it sure doesn`t last long. Maybe this nice weather will stall the changing leaves a bit.
But you know....when I picture it, a bride would very much stand out beautifully against a back drop of unadorned trees. It would definitely not be the typical.


Anonymous said...

I always thought the leaves fell because of the limited amount of daylight this time of year not the temps. should be the same as every year shouldn't it? I think having a wet summer will make the colours brighter and bolder and appear earlier but wil not make them fall any earlier.

you'll have an awesome wedding.