September 14, 2007

The Five-Second Rule

(Or, as my mother once mis-spoke, the 15-Minute Rule.) Does that rule change depending on the surface onto which one's food has fallen? When I sat down on the bus today I set my lunch bag on the floor between my feet. In the plastic shopping bag was a flat container of leftovers and, perched on top of the container, a shiny Red Delicious apple. During one particularly sharp turn, the apple attempted to break free. It bounced off the container, rolled out of the bag and travelled across the bus, stopping momentarily under the seat opposite mine. Evidently daunted by this sudden freedom, the apple rolled back toward me. I casually scooped it up and placed it back in the bag, as if the apple and I had rehearsed this several times. I wanted to stand up and take a bow, announcing, "The amazing boomerang apple trick! Thank you, thank you ladies and gentlemen. I hope that you enjoyed the show." I didn't. Instead I remained in my seat, my face as red as the apple, and read the minds of my fellow passengers. They were all thinking the same thing: "Is she actually going to eat that?"

I don't know. Will I eat the apple? It is still in the plastic bag, once again secure in its captivity. The entire escape attempt lasted less than five seconds, I'm confident of that, but does the Five-Second Rule become the Two-Second Rule in the case of a dirty bus floor? Does it become the Don't Even THINK About Putting That Near Your Mouth rule once the especially filthy under-seat area is involved? Can any amount of washing fix the damage that has been done? Do I have to resort to peeling? Help me out here, folks. What would you do?


8 comments:

bryanf said...

It's probably too late now, but I'd just wash it and eat it. Apple skins are shiny and tough, I don't think any bus goop would have sunk in, and a wash should get off anything on the surface.

Note: I am not a doctor or scientist, nor do I play one on tv, this advice is by no means binding, and if you get sick and/or die from it it's not my fault. [ahem]

Anonymous said...

Are you kidding me? I wouldn't even eat anything that's been ON a bus, wrapped up or not. Rolling around on the bus floor? Ha!

HAR said...

Wash it and chow down. You have absolutely NO idea who has actually touched that apple while it was waiting in the store. So, go for it!

Anonymous said...

Grossssssssss...... don"t even think about kissing me with that Mouth!!! Now go wash your mouth out with bleach!!!

LOVE SCOTT :P

Stair Climber said...

I am all about the eating of stuff like that, but then I also fearlessly eat from food carts on the streets of Mexico and give my kid cheese sticks that have been in the diaper bag overnight....

I sound totally slovenly, don't I?

Tea & Margaritas in My Garden said...

Hmmmmmm, I`d probably throw it away. But on the other hand, if I was hungry enough, I`d wash it and eat it LOL

tea
xo

Rob K said...

Didn't Adam & Eve get into trouble over this whole apple eating thing?

Of course, I don't they take your bus, but you never know...

blushone said...

eat away after a good washing =) trust me... the average person puts far worse things in their mouths w/out even realizing.