On Saturday, while driving Scott to his dentist appointment, I had my first accident as a (semi-)licensed driver. I was in a line of cars waiting at a red light when a Leon's delivery truck glided into my lane from behind and hit the back of our Element. Scott threw his door open and hollered, "HEY!" while I put the vehicle into park, flipped on the hazard lights and checked for moving traffic before getting out to inspect the damage.
I was pleased to discover that there was nary a scratch. Barely a smudge in the dirt on our bumper, really. I was so relieved -- both at the lack of carnage and the fact that I wasn't at fault -- that I patted the truck driver on the back and chirped, "No worries!" before hopping back into the driver's seat.
Scott was frazzled, as he always is when I am driving, but I continued merrily onward until we reached the dentist's office, where we were only five minutes late for a 12:30 appointment. Unfortunately, the dentist had no time for Scott that day, as the appointment was actually scheduled for noon. I had entered the wrong time in my PalmPilot. So much for my fault-free day.
It took years for me to learn to love -- or at least accept -- myself for who I am. But with the recent increase in the amount of me that there is to love, I have come to realize that my continued acceptance might just lead to a heart attack one of these days. I could become the next "Suicide by Fat -- Obesity Revealed" specimen in Dr. Gunther von Hagens' Body Worlds exhibit. That ain't a pretty thought.
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-Agatha Christie
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
- Margaret Mead
What is the good of having a nice house without a decent planet to put it on?
- Henry David Thoreau
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little.
- Edmund Burke
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
- Douglas Adams
...as long as we are all here, it's pretty clear that the struggle is to share the planet, rather than divide it.
- Alice Walker
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
- Leo Buscaglia
The best things in life aren't things.
- Art Buchwald
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
- Albert Einstein
Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.
- Maya Angelou
The past is prophetic in that it asserts loudly that wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows.
-Martin Luther King Jr.
Peace can only last where human rights are respected, where the people are fed, and where individuals and nations are free.
-Dalai Lama
The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world's problems.
- Mohandas Gandhi
- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
- Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
- W.C. Fields
I hate writing. I love having written.
- Dorothy Parker
Some see the glass as half-empty, some see the glass as half-full. I see the glass as too big.
- George Carlin
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
- Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
You can't have everything; where would you put it?
- Steven Wright
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work…I want to achieve it through not dying.
- Woody Allen
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
- Jane Wagner
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
- Erma Bombeck
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
- Emo Philips
Remember, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
- Darrin Weinberg
Always go to other peoples' funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours.
- Yogi Berra
