February 18, 2008


(Let's not ruin it by saying it aloud (I have a tendency to jinx things), but I think the rice-and-Pepto-Bismol diet is working. For the first time in several nights, Ferris did not wake me up with a stinky surprise. A great big THANKS! to everyone who provided suggestions, support and sympathy.)

In other news... Here are the latest and greatest Sitemeter search stats for my blog.

Someone in Bletchley, Essex, UK, found my blog by Googling "pugs are hideous," while another UK resident found it by Googling "pet spider poems." You know, when I was a kid I adopted a spider. It lived in the back yard on my mother's clothesline pulley. Every day when I went outside to feed our pet rabbit I would shake earwigs out from a crevice in the rabbit hutch. I would catch them in an old tennis ball canister and shake them silly so that they would be dizzy when I tossed them into the -- hold on, I think this is falling into the category of "things you really ought not reveal about your childhood." Never mind, then.

A fellow Torontonian arrived at my site by entering the search words "bodypaint by jen calendar 2006," while another local found it by Googling "lmao." Trust me, no one would be laughing if they had the misfortune to view me in nothing but bodypaint. I would probably get sued for causing severe emotional trauma.

An individual from Reynoldsburg, Ohio, was probably disappointed with the fish bathroom pics that resulted from their pursuit of "panda theme room" photos. (Were they seeking ideas for a panda-themed room, or for a theme room for pandas?)

This wallcovering is fab!

I'm very curious to know why somebody in the Salem-Keizer Public School system in Gervais, Oregon, was searching for information on "shroom babies." Perhaps FASD wasn't enough to explain the behaviour of some of the students?

My condolences to the person from Kelso, Missouri, who was on a quest for "free cat poems for funerals." Did the local cat lady pass away? And did you really need to include the word "free"? Surely no one would actually charge for a funereal cat poem.

Lastly, I really feel for the person from Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania, who Googled, "can you die from a broken toe." Scott nearly murdered Ferris after finding out how much his broken toe cost.


Anonymous said...

Glad to hear the rice worked. Of course,if it didn't you could have rented Ferris out for weddings.

Anonymous said...

Here's a free (dead) cat poem...
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not, of course, do any of that
Because I was just a f***ing cat.

HAR said...

OMG! First off that poem is f'n hysterical. This guy is funny.

Second, I loved this post. Especially that you adopted a pet spider.

Rob K said...

On the plus side, I'll bet spider poop is easier to clean up...if you can even find it.

Ashley Ladd said...

>>Here are the latest and greatest Sitemeter search stats for my blog.>>

Where did you found the sitemeter post tracker? I would love to know where people found my site and the search terms they used.

It's so amusing to hear what people put in the search engines when they found your site.

Calamity Jen said...

Just go to www.sitemeter.com and you too can be the proud owner of a free post tracker.