April 11, 2008

The hardest part about having pets

I wish I had written more about Samson. Being the seemingly healthiest of our pets, he did not give me cause to grumble about repeated trips to the vet. He did give us many opportunities to laugh. He was a bright, trouble-making, kittenish little guy. Out of six siblings he was the only one who did not contract feline distemper, and we thought he was strong enough to beat all odds.

Samson would have been four this coming July. In the past he suffered from crystals in his bladder and we have had him on a special diet ever since. He seemed to be doing well. When Scott and I arrived home from work yesterday, however, we found Samson in pain, crying and not moving around very much. Throughout the evening he drank a lot of water and threw up several times. In hindsight it's hard to believe that we did not rush him to the emergency clinic, but we once had a bad experience there; as a result we have little faith in the care that such clinics provide. We decided to wait and see. We sat with Samson on the sofa for a while and pet him as much as he would tolerate.

We kept Samson in the bathroom overnight with food, water and a litter box. When I checked on him this morning he was laying down, breathing but nothing else - not even blinking. We rushed him to our vet clinic but he died in my arms en route.

Samson was Scott's favourite, there was no denying it. Part of my pain is the loss I am feeling, and part of it is the grief I can see Scott suffering. It's also heartbreaking to witness Trooper's confusion as he begins to realize that his brother (and best cuddle-buddy) is gone. It will take a long time to forgive ourselves for not taking Samson to the vet last night.


Zombie Mom said...

Ahhhh. I am so sorry. Poor all of you. Try to be nice to yourselves.... it sounds like you made the absolutely best decision you could given the information you had available. I am just so sorry for all of you.

Anonymous said...

Pets attach themselves to us and we to them and then things like this happen. It is no one's fault and you gave him a very good life. Give yourselves a break and go hug Trooper.

Rob K said...

Jen, I am so sorry to hear this.

It seems so unfair that pets, who bring so much to our lives, are only with us for such a short time.

I know we should thankful for the time we do have them, but that does little to ease the pain.

You did everything you could for Samson and he knew how much you loved him.

alan said...

Hot wet tears rolling down my cheeks for you, yours and Trooper!

I always swear never again, and then someone steals my heart away...


Heather said...

OH Jenni! I'm so sorry!! Hugs to you and Scott and also to Trooper. :(

HAR said...

This post made me so sad Calamity. At least Samson was in your loving arms and was not alone.
It is so easy to open your heart to an animal but so hard when it is time to let them go. I hope Scott and Trooper can spend some time together during this painful transition.

ryssee said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.
Forgive yourselves for not bringing him in the prior evening-the biggest difference is that you would have had to make "the decision." Sounds like Samson stuck it out long enough to be with you and Scott when he passed on.

Leigh-Ann said...

I'm so sorry I didn't see this sooner. I really am sorry for your loss, and understand why you wish you had taken Samson to the vet sooner. It's tough when you've had a bad experience with a clinic, though, and understandable that you want to take your pet to a vet that you're all comfortable with. You were doing what you felt was best. You really don't know if Samson's only problem was a urinary blockage, either -- there might have been something more severe going on, something where time was irrelevent. If you feel like it, perhaps you could write up a blog entry about urinary crystals in male cats, and that way we can all learn about the problem, and part of Samson's legacy can be that he made all your readers better cat owners.

It's such a sad thing to lose a friend so suddenly, and I wish there was something I could say to make it better. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Please don't beat yourself up for not taking him to the vet sooner. By the sounds of it, there's probably little they could have done for him.

RIP little guy, we'll miss you.